Canada Day resolution

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The following was received for consideration by the director of the Northeast Church Project at Hippos:
From These Hosers to Y’all
Whereas there are no less than 8 Canadians among those at the 2008 Hippos-Sussita dig;
And
Whereas July 1st is a mandatory and statutory holiday;
And
Whereas Canada Day celebrates such goodly and Christian things like: good government, good order, good beer and good hockey;
And
Whereas Canada Day celebrates the creation of the peaceful, true, north strong and free dominion of Canada, member of the British Commonwealth, by the Father’s of Confederation, not with musket and bayonet, but with a case of Scotch and an act of British Parliament;
And
Whereas Canadians everywhere, under the authority of our sovereign Queen Elizabeth II, must submit to the laws of the Dominion;
And
Whereas the Charter of Rights and Freedoms states that Canada has been founded “By the rule of law and under the authority of God,” marking it as a nation that serves the will of our creator and Lord;
And
Whereas this good assembly seeks only to serve the will of God;
And
Whereas the Americans among us will be free to celebrate their National Holiday with a day off in Jerusalem;
We the undersigned do humbly request leave for tomorrow in order to celebrate our nation’s day, in the traditional manner: beer, lounging around, shopping, singing our national anthem and the most hallowed poking fun at our neighbors to the south.
Jenn Shack
Bill Hayes
Darren Siegle
Quinn
Michael J. Fox
William Shatner
Michael Myers
Jim Carrey
Tim Hurton
Celine Dion